Merry Christmas

It's always nice to have Christmas fall on a sunday, because we then have a church service in the morning. Not too much else to think. Last night/very early this morning was pretty difficult, and I fully fulfilled my nerd/addicted student role by marking pages in books from the Music Library that I felt might come in use for my paper on the Bach flute sonatas, and perhaps even listening to excerpts for my 20th century exam at the same time. However, this was due in part to needing an utter distraction after getting quite emotional. I knew that I could NOT think about it and I figured I might as well make use of my time by doing work that really did need to be done. So yes, at 2am on Christmas morning, I was working on a paper. 

Brings to mind 2am on December 8th, when I was studying 20th century composers while waiting for the doctor to tell me what the results of my bloodwork showed and what would be happening further. 

Well, with that in mind, having figured out how to use my Ipod, I am actually listening to one of the excerpts "La Cathedrale Engloutie", by Claude Debussy-it's one of his piano preludes, written in 1910. Quite nice actually. I have it hooked up to my stereo. The only thing so far that has been disappointing about the Ipod is that I feel like I cannot get the volume quite LOW enough! A bit frustrating for a woman who wants to keep her hearing intact. Obviously, when riding a bus, I would want to have the volume slightly louder, but one of the main times I listen to music is in bed. It's pretty quiet there! 

I guess it is 'tomorrow', as in December 26th now. Well, later today I need to work on my paper (s) some more, and do some more studying, practising, and getting my room into order, so I should go to bed. Hopefully, I will be able to do some vacuuming and dusting tomorrow-it has not been done for a LONG time. And, I'm hoping to put a few more decorations up, just to make things 'normal' for the Christmas season. Had I been well, I would have put them up at least a few days ago, but given how things have gone, I'm considering myself lucky to have gotten the tree up. 

This Christmas might not go down into the record books as one of the most memorable, but it was not bad in any way. Thinking back, I might call the Christmases I was 5 and 10 years old some of the happiest, and that is not because of the gifts, although I do remember some specific things from each of those years...in fact, Charlotte the Elephant from the Christmas I was 5 still sits on top of my taller bookshelf (my mom made her). Rather, they just felt so, so happy. Okay, so the Christmas I was 5 I also lost my first tooth while eating a potato chip watching The Nutcracker on tv, so that's somewhat significant. One reason that the Christmas I was 5 sticks out now is that a picture was taken...one of the only pictures I could find of just my mom and I. We're both in the ancient, ancient rocking chair that was 'her chair' in the living room, she's smiling in those crazy huge 1980's to mid 1990's glasses (this is 1995), and appears to be unwrapping something from me with my hand on top. I'm care-free and in a new outfit that I got that day. It's funny, but I actually remember the FIRST outfit that I put on that day, a green sweat-suit with flowers on the top. Strange how those things pop up...that was also the outfit that I wore to 'The Sound of Music' presented a few months later in the summer. Yes, my brain remembers these things, with really no rhyme or reason as to WHY. But, I can say that for some reason, I do tend to have memory recall for what outfit I wore at events, sometimes not even that important of events, or ones captured by camera. Just the way things are, I guess. The last important bit of this picture is that my mom is wearing a yellow sweatshirt, and just visible to someone who knows that it's there is the Music for Young Children Moon/Sun logo used at that time. A small point, but it's somewhat ironic that in one of the only photos of JUST the two of us that I could find, she's wearing an MYC sweatshirt.   

I miss my mom and her non-fashionable way of dressing...even when it embarrassed me as a teenager slightly. This was in part brought back by seeing the EXACT kind of shoes my mom wore day in and day out for YEARS (read: almost my whole life) at Zellars (the EXACT place she would get them) yesterday when shopping with my friend for HER family! Brought back a lot of memories. 

Such is life. But this is the life that God has given me. I have been blessed, and this is my path. God never said that the path would be easy, only that we will not be walking it alone. For that I am grateful.