Mondays (otherwise known as disaster avoided)

Turns out mondays aren't always so bad. Most of the offices at the hospital open at 8:30 in the morning, and this week I start work at 8:45, so I was finally able to talk to someone in person with the ED program-I think the receptionist. Not only do they now have my old number removed and my cell number listed as the contact number, but I was assured that they would not say where they were from unless they were actually talking to me. In fact, the person on the line was rather surprised that the first nurse had even said she was from the hospital. Granted, she did not say what department or anything like that...but still. Needless to say, my stomach was tied in far fewer knots today! Now, I just wait for the next phone call. I'm still debating whether or not to leave my cell phone in my pocket on vibrate tomorrow. I did today and didn't receive any calls. Perhaps tomorrow I'll feel confident enough to just check it during my break and then after work.

Last night as I wrote pretty much the same thing over and over in my journal while waiting for my medication (an anti-psychotic that helps with my OCD symptoms and has the side effect of putting me to sleep) to kick in, I listened to the soundtrack from the movie 'The Mission'. I haven't actually seen the whole film, but watched quite a bit of it in my grade eight bible class while we were learning the Beatitudes. I still have the notes from that course, which as a whole has remained one of the most powerful courses I have taken. The ending of 'The Mission' moved me to tears. I haven't seen it since then, but I have no doubt that it would do the same today. It made me think...would I have the strength to stand up for my beliefs like that and die, or be one of the ones that carries on after the priests have been killed? Having spent grades seven to twelve in a mennonite private school, I learned many stories of martyrs for Christ. Recently, too, I was rereading a couple of stories about the shottings at Columbine High School. Reading these really make me think...do I have what it would take to stand up like that?

I try to live by a few statements...

Mennonite phrase used on almost every missions' t-shirt "Faith alone is not enough"

With God, all things are possible

God never gives you more than you can handle, but sometimes, you have to search very hard for a way to handle them.

The lord will make a way.