I thought it was sunday nights that caused me depression, but for whatever reason, all through this evening my depression has been mounting. And I really don't know why! Perhaps it's stress over my final summary report for intro to ethno, I'm honestly not sure. I didn't even remove myself from the kitchen immediately after dinner but ended up playing most of the Sunrise cd for my dad (after me talking about it so much and describing how certain songs got stuck in my head, he wanted to be let in a little bit I guess!) and talking all about the lessons. I get very excited whenever I'm talking about Sunrise or about the MYC program in general, I suppose because there is so much that is excellent about the program! And I certainly love those 45 minutes at 9:30 on saturday mornings when my four students and their moms or dads come to class.
Today was the youth orchestra's scholarship competition, and although I did not have a stellar performance and know that I was not one of the finalists, it went all right, and my wonderful accompanist, who has been playing for me for almost five years now (I've only played with someone different maybe 3 or 4 times in all of my festival, recital, audition, competition, exam and jury performances) was quite pleased with it, especially on how much better my playing was today compared to yesterday. I was a little annoyed because my flute was slipping a bit on my chin, which doesn't always happen. Some flutes, if they have gold mouth-plates can have scrolling, which actually makes this less of a problem. Mine, however, is solid silver, and I guess that's not possible.
Ah, instruments...it may seem crazy to non-musicians to spend thousands of dollars on what a fellow flautist friend of mine described as an "over-sophisticated piece of plumbing". However, if I were to not be playing on a high quality instrument (actually 2...my piccolo is also high quality), I would not have nearly the same tone quality, or even the technical capabilities as I am able to achieve on Johann, who is a Yamaha 481 silver 925. In case you're wondering, my piccolo's name is Sebastian...now all I need is third instrument to be named Bach. I've thought about naming the antique piano (our only piano) that is sort-of mine now that my mom is gone and my dad does not play a note and my sister lives out of the house, but it doesn't always seem to fit. Whatever the case, Sebastian really seems to fit for my piccolo. Naming instruments is not a new thing, and is actually pretty common...one of my friend's piccolos is named Tyrone, and I know a cello named Aluicious (and the spelling is probably wrong there). My flute has been an almost constant companion since August of 2004, so since before I started grade 9, or starting to close in on seven years now. I've thought about possibly upgrading further, and if something DOES present itself and I have my flute teacher's listening approval along with that of at least one other flautist, I might make that investment. My flute teacher, upon hearing this was rather quick to say that it would have be something VERY special and good, because this flute (a low-end professional model) seems to be a very good fit for me (which, don't get me wrong, is a very good thing). However, not having played another flute of quality, how do I know that I might not sound better on another one? I guess it's a bit of curiosity.
I just looked over at my calender and saw that it is exactly two weeks until christmas. Despite playing favourite christmas cds, Kris Kringle and seeing the mall dressed up, it still was a complete shock. I think I'll put up some decorations tomorrow (all out of reach of small hands of course!) to help me realize that it is coming, and fast. It's very easy to exist in a state of constant winter I guess, and we have had some bitter cold the past little while, wind chills of around -35, and temperatures expected to dip down to -30 celsius tonight. I suppose it's not as bad as we've had in the past, but it isn't pleasant.
I think that cleaning up my room a little, changing the sheets, having a bath and then going to bed-perhaps even before midnight (!) will help me to feel a bit better. Actually, writing this post has helped a little bit-I'm not feeling quite like crying anymore.
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