It's a weird thing that once you get your doctor's 'sickness certificate' you start to do a bit better. I'm still not fully right by any means, but I actually felt hungry at 12:30 or so today, despite waking up feeling sick (again). Still tired, but I haven't put my head down once since the bus ride. I'm going to attempt to put away my mountain of laundry soon, and then do some studying for my Opera History exam. I hope this trend continues!
Of course, all of this has taken a toll on me. My weight has dropped-this morning I realized that I had put my belt on the 8th set, when I always wear it on the 7th. I keep feeling my pelvic bones/hip bones and trying not to get addicted to this feeling. I am optimistic that everything will get sorted out at the appointment next week. Logic tells me that that might not be possible, but my love for what I do keeps me thinking that. I have faith that whatever happens, God is leading me down the right path.
My doctor has given me until after Christmas if I need it on the certificate. I am hoping that I can get things done before then, but if things need to take a bit longer, then I have that ability. Next semester, we'll see. I have been learning how to work around the extreme fatigue, and realizing that even if I know that I can get things done in a certain amount of time, that I cannot just leave things-I must take advantage of my energy and 'feeling good' times because I don't know when things might not be so great. So next semester, I will really work on that, no matter how much or how little I decide to take on. And even though it seemed like I was doing well on less sleep, I obviously cannot do that anymore.
Last night I came up with a list of things that I have already learned from this experience:
-I love being a student more then I ever thought I did. I will never take the ability to study for granted again.
-It's okay to let people know when you aren't feeling well/right. They actually might be really helpful and your safety-or that of your instruments!-might depend on it.
-B. is amazing. Period.
-Don't panic, but don't ignore things either. I left things a long time-had I gone in to see my doctor earlier I might have missed a class but I might have saved myself a lot of anxiety and exhaustion. Or I might not have. But it's worth a thought.
-Playing my flute is one of my favourite things, and I didn't realize how much it would hurt to not be able to properly.
-Teaching during an episode makes me misname the finger numbers for my Moonbeams One's "This is C" scale.
-I can do a surprisingly okay performance during the midst of an episode, but almost dropping my piccolo will certainly make my breathing worse.
-I can overdose on tea...
-Asking professors to work things out with you is hard, but not doing so would have been disastrous
- Just because you had an episode of tachycardia/breathing issues doesn't mean that you will be seen before a twisted ankle
-Hospital gowns go down to my ankles...
-Don't do too much research on the internet (and I thought I had already learned this one with my mom)
-My bed is the most amazing place to be, but I am glad for the internet and my cellphone connecting me to the outside world
-I hate having to force myself to eat, but there is no way to get energy besides eating.
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