Last year vs. This year

Last year at this exact time, I was on a bus to the Urgent Care centre to finally start taking care of myself. This year, I am happily about to print up my lesson plans and prepare my studio for tomorrow, perhaps pick up my flute and do some practising, maybe read a little bit of my history textbooks.

Last year...I was about to enter one of the most difficult months in my life. I pulled out some of the emails that I sent/received from my professors in regards to what was going on (always good to keep a record of things official). I read one of them, and realized that I was so sick at that time that I didn't even read the email properly when I received it-it said that I got a 91% on my essay, which I DO remember getting, but I know I didn't read it properly at the time, because when I actually got my essay back-in January-I anxiously turned to find out what mark I got. For someone who is a bit grade obsessed, not remembering a nice A grade like that really shows how sick I was.

It is hard remembering last year. Actually, it is hard remembering ANY November/December of my University career besides this year and my first year. 2nd year, 3rd year, 4th year...let's just say that November and December of those years are NOT easy to remember. I hope that this year sets a new trend.

I may still need more sleep (I slept at least 9 and a half hours today, and still had to pry myself out of bed at almost 10am...), and I may still have some breathing difficulties and stamina issues, but I'm not as bad as last year. I get frustrated with my body, but I can keep my eyes open for more than 10 minutes at a time. I may not be able to run much, but I can walk up my stairs without problems unless I'm in a bad episode. My hands may occasionally lose some degree of sensation (when my heart is really mucked up), but they haven't gone completely senseless since LAST Dec 7th. My stomach and what-not can give me problems, but I don't have a repertoire of only 5 foods that I can tolerate. I have much to be thankful for.

I will be seeing some of my health care professionals this coming week-my counsellor at the Eating Disorder program, and hopefully getting into see my own family doctor. I haven't actually seen her since LAST December, because I haven't needed my prescription refilled until now...because I took my dose down quite a lot. But...I have only about two weeks left of the prescription, so I HAVE to refill it. Even if it means getting a bit of flack for one, not taking the full dose, and two, not getting anything checked out in so long. Just have to suck up my courage and do so...