My all-natural anti-depressants-practising my flute and MYC

Perhaps it was just the troubles with dinner...but this evening left me feeling rather down. I'm not even sure why the troubles with dinner were present, perhaps it was just a bit too late, being after 7pm. I was actually hungry, and it was a stew with lots of vegetables, but I found that my stomach just wasn't letting me eat much and that was a bit frustrating to be honest, but perhaps some of the 'tricks' that ana developed for me were coming into play whether I wanted them to or not. And then for whatever reason, my computer's disc player is being stubborn and will sometimes not play certain discs and well, sometimes it's just the little things that make everything seem terrible! The good news is that I got down to practising after my computer refused to play the disc, and although it took a little bit for some of the things to not seem hopeless (with my wind ensemble audition less than a month away) things actually improved and I could see improvements in my playing even since saturday (the last time I practised...), so it did work. In fact, I had to use my logical brain and stop practising after about an hour and a half because my fingers were tired and getting slightly tingly (which is a big sign to stop and one I try to take seriously!). So, practising really helped get me back 'up' and now I'm listening to Sunrise vocal cd 1, and that's also helping. I can't help but smile with some of the songs. Might seem like an odd anti-depressant to some people, but I guess whatever works. I miss teaching!

Let's hope that I don't still need as much sleep as I've been tending to get...sleeping for more than ten hours a night probably isn't that normal for someone of 21...and it can be a bit frustrating too. I guess it really is time to get everything checked out, but that is NOT an easy task for me. Maybe I DO need someone to come, like my ICM. I would call my doctor tomorrow, but it's my sister's birthday and I don't know what time we're going out, and my dad is going out for some time in the morning and needs me to be at home with the crew. So I'm actually making a valid excuse...

Perhaps thursday...