The past week

Let's just say that the past week has been a bit (a bit?!) disjointed, sad, strange, weird, long, tiring, and most of all COLD. Well, that last bit is mostly for me.

Cold describes me. Warm heart, cold everything else. Take today. We had a bit of a blizzard/snow storm/whatever you want to call it. Being the hearty prairie people we are, my university was of course open and the city buses were of course running. In fact, my buses to and from the university were pretty much on time, and it only took about five minutes longer on either end to get there and back. That's really not bad considering how much snow we got, how low the visibility was, and how windy it was. It was NOT nice out today, especially this morning. We got at least six inches of snow overnight, which is very doable for us, but not exactly pleasant. I had already predicted that there would be fewer people in my Orchestration class this morning because of St. Patrick's day the night before. Well, I was sort of correct. Only two of us showed up on time, two others by the time my professor wanted to start the class. However, by the end of class, we did have eight of us, and I know that the reason my friend R was away was because she is in Toronto for an audition. Seeing so many of my friends doing Master's auditions...and getting in...it almost makes me feel as if I'm being left in the dust because I'm not doing any auditions right now. But then I remember that I have plans, and that right now anyways I wouldn't have the strength to try to do any auditions, let alone start a graduate degree! But there is definitely that longing, and feeling of well, being passed over. Plus, I'm going to miss so many of them when they go off. My friend K is going to Germany, N to Boston. At least my very dear friend B is probably staying right here to do her Master's.

Oh yes, how did I get off that topic. I said that I was so cold. Cold, cold, cold, cold, cold. Even wrapping up in a fleece blanket doesn't always cut it. It certainly didn't yesterday. And I seem to be extra sensitive coming in from the cold. I took my temperature about fifteen or twenty minutes after coming in from my bus (and it is a half-hour ride approximately on the bus from my piano lesson) this afternoon. My temperature was a whopping 95.5 degrees. Talk about chilly. It did go back higher, but that is showing me that I'm not only staying cold most of the time, but I'm extra sensitive to the cold. The bus wasn't that cold itself! And I don't have that long a walk in from the mall where the bus stop is to my house. It was the waiting outside for the bus that got me. Usually, I catch the bus at about 3:54, today it was 4:15 by the time it got to the stop. BRRR. Some of the snow drifts in my yard are almost as tall as I am (57 inches).

The ramblings of a cold, tired, sad person who is going to go to bed now that it is socially acceptable. Really, many days I would seriously crawl into bed at 2pm, 5pm, 8pm...if any of those were socially acceptable times. OR if I lived alone. Perhaps it is good that I don't?

I'm not going to attempt to get into my doctor tomorrow, but will later to get started on the domperidone and investigate some iron supplementation. I doubt that it will hurt, especially as it's been tossed about before. I just need to come in with my agenda and my demands for lack of a better term. Although I DO NOT believe that depression caused any of these symptoms (given that I would call how I felt in July/August-October of 2011-right before symptoms started- as the best I'd felt since I was about six or seven years old) but I could agree that it is secondary depression. BUT I do know that when I saw my ICM on thursday that I was one, really upset from the funeral the day before, and two, in retrospect, quite affected by PMS. I should have known at the time-the only time I ever really feel angry or anything is right before and sometimes the first day.  I even felt like snapping at one of my students on saturday morning, that just doesn't happen. As a weird note, the exam that I wrote at a weird time, in a weird place, with only my section instructor and another fellow graduate/friend of S, when I was feeling already so messed up...turns out to be my best psychology exam mark so far, 38/40, another A+ (I've only gotten A+ in psychology). I finished the psychology online lectures today. Now there is just three chapters to read and take notes on.

So, to bed...