Given that it has been almost five years since I did my grade 9 RCM piano exam, I've decided that I have got to set a deadline for the grade 10 exam, and the deadline I have set is August of 2013. As such, I've been starting to buckle down on technique. So, today, I made individual slips of note-cards with a single technique exercise that I need to do written down on each. The grand total? 288 slips. I got somewhat tired when I had finished counting!
12 major scales
12 harmonic minor scales
12 melodic minor scales
12 different places to start the chromatic scale
9 different formula pattern scales
9 different major or minor scales in octaves
9 different staccato scales
4 scales separated by a 3rd
4 scales separated by a 6th
4 scales separated by a 10th
12 chromatic scales in octaves
12 major solid four-note chords
12 major broken four-note chords
12 major alternate-note four-note chords
12 minor solid four-note chords
12 minor broken four-note chords
12 minor alternate note four-note chords
12 major arpeggios
12 minor arpeggios
12 arpeggios of the Dominant 7th
12 arpeggios of the Diminished 7th
12 solid Dominant 7ths
12 broken Dominant 7ths
12 alternate-note Dominant 7ths
12 solid Diminished 7ths
12 broken Diminished 7ths
12 alternate-note Diminished 7ths
12 major alternating scales in octaves
Actually, my math must have been off, I probably just miscounted my cards, that comes out to 303...Either way, that is a lot.
Tomorrow, I figure out the flute requirements!
Sunday, May 13, 2012
Mother's Day
The past week or so leading up to mother's day has been hard for me. Several nights I have actually dreamed about my mom. Many of the dreams included her very sick, but one included her healthy...like she was during my first year of university, only I was the age I am now. I've spent a lot of the past week or two in that state of wanting to go to bed all day, looking forward to it, but then when I get to bed, afraid to close my eyes and sleep, even if I am exhausted because of the seroquel and whatever else is going on. It's a careful balancing act of which book I should read until I cannot keep my eyes open any further or whether I should watch an episode of Bewitched or I dream of Jeannie on Youtube (my dvd/cd player on my computer is messed up...again...) and hope that it tires me out enough. A very riveting book that I was reading this past week I unfortunately couldn't read right before bed, because it made me dream that I was a murderer...so, not exactly good news for needing pleasant sleep!
We had a display of pictures of "People who mothered us" at church today. I found a picture taken when I was just shy of two weeks old, of my mom and I. I am presuming that I was that age, because we are all dressed up, me in this tiny little red lacy dress and a pair of knitted booties and my mom in a navy suit, and I know that my parents only missed one sunday church service after I was born...and I was born on a tuesday. My guess is that they probably took pictures of that special day, my first time going to church. There are pictures of my dad and I on that day as well, but I'm asleep in them. For the one with my mom, I am awake. It is one of just a handful of pictures of just my mom and I, and despite the fact that I'm sure she didn't find it a flattering picture, given that it was summer and hot and she had given birth only two weeks previous (think swollen legs made worse with the angle of the camera, exhausted looking eyes, and a slight hint of a double chin due to water and baby weight gain), it is very special to me. What I see in the picture is love, and a great sense of joy and pride. And as the baby in the picture, all there is in my eyes is a sense of security...as there should be.
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
That awkward moment...
That awkward moment when, in doing your own research about possibly starting on imipramine, a tricyclic antidepressant, you find that one of the common side effects is increased heart rate. Urgh. Given that I deal with an increased/elevated heart rate a lot of the time already (my normal resting heart rate, even when I was able to be running most days was generally over 90, normal for an active person would likely be below 65), this wasn't exactly something that I wanted to read about.
Did I mention that except for the Eating Disorder team at the health clinic I go to for that, it is very hard to get in contact with anyone of my medical professionals? My dentist figured that he would have an answer back from my internal medicine specialist within a week, it has now been two weeks and I have yet to hear from him. I'm going to phone tomorrow, because the last thing I want is further problems with my teeth to continue. And I need to know when I can get these stupid extra teeth out so that I can plan my summer! Amadeus has to be sent off for a tune-up at some point, preferably when my wisdom teeth come out (it will make the separation a lot more bearable and my recovery a lot easier).
But yeah, that is one of those 'awkward moments'. Sigh.
Did I mention that except for the Eating Disorder team at the health clinic I go to for that, it is very hard to get in contact with anyone of my medical professionals? My dentist figured that he would have an answer back from my internal medicine specialist within a week, it has now been two weeks and I have yet to hear from him. I'm going to phone tomorrow, because the last thing I want is further problems with my teeth to continue. And I need to know when I can get these stupid extra teeth out so that I can plan my summer! Amadeus has to be sent off for a tune-up at some point, preferably when my wisdom teeth come out (it will make the separation a lot more bearable and my recovery a lot easier).
But yeah, that is one of those 'awkward moments'. Sigh.
Saturday, April 21, 2012
FINALLY!
After several weeks of waiting, my marks for first semester were finally updated on thursday. Seriously, how long does it take for two marks to be input to let me know that I got an A+ in Research Methods and a B+ in Opera History? Obviously, I would have preferred an A in Opera History, but given how rough everything has been this year, I'm okay with a B+. Now, if they could only update my student status from On Probation back to Dean's Honour List!
This past week has been a relieving week with getting good marks. I found out that I got an 87.7 on my jury, giving me a B+ for my final grade in major practical study. By .2%, my jury grade was the best yet. I guess the answer to everything is that I really am no judge of my abilities right now, because I felt that I would get the lowest mark of my four juries. Similarly, I felt that I would not do very well on my final 20th century paper, and my professor emailed me my grade, and it was 90%-A. Then, my wind ensemble conductor emailed me my grade for wind ensemble, which was an A as well. I just need to wait for my marks for 20th century, Philosophy of Music and my second ensemble (the flute/guitar duet) to come through. I will like get an A or even an A+ in 20th century, hopefully an A but more likely a B+ in Philosophy of Music, and I would REALLY like a B+ in second ensemble, but because my director is quite a tough marker, it might only be a B (again...despite my efforts this year).
For the first time since September 8th, I have no papers to write, no exams or tests to study for, no readings to do...I only have to practice if I WANT to (which I do, don't get me wrong!)...
What this says is that my stress has obviously been considerably relieved. Yet I am still having breathing episodes, like yesterday during my friend Haley's recital.
This is not just a stress issue. The test for me was whether being done school would cure it, and it hasn't.
This past week has been a relieving week with getting good marks. I found out that I got an 87.7 on my jury, giving me a B+ for my final grade in major practical study. By .2%, my jury grade was the best yet. I guess the answer to everything is that I really am no judge of my abilities right now, because I felt that I would get the lowest mark of my four juries. Similarly, I felt that I would not do very well on my final 20th century paper, and my professor emailed me my grade, and it was 90%-A. Then, my wind ensemble conductor emailed me my grade for wind ensemble, which was an A as well. I just need to wait for my marks for 20th century, Philosophy of Music and my second ensemble (the flute/guitar duet) to come through. I will like get an A or even an A+ in 20th century, hopefully an A but more likely a B+ in Philosophy of Music, and I would REALLY like a B+ in second ensemble, but because my director is quite a tough marker, it might only be a B (again...despite my efforts this year).
For the first time since September 8th, I have no papers to write, no exams or tests to study for, no readings to do...I only have to practice if I WANT to (which I do, don't get me wrong!)...
What this says is that my stress has obviously been considerably relieved. Yet I am still having breathing episodes, like yesterday during my friend Haley's recital.
This is not just a stress issue. The test for me was whether being done school would cure it, and it hasn't.
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
...I can't win...
I feel like I can't win. Earlier today, I was utterly exhausted and feeling a bit faint. So, I took my pulse-rate, which was about 78 bpm, a pretty normal rate for an adult, right? Except that I was exhausted and faint, despite getting almost 8 hours of sleep.
Now, my heart rate is faster and I have more energy, but it makes me feel shaky and I have some mild increases in difficulty breathing.
I can't win here.
On both a good and an AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH note, my final exam is tomorrow.
Now, my heart rate is faster and I have more energy, but it makes me feel shaky and I have some mild increases in difficulty breathing.
I can't win here.
On both a good and an AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH note, my final exam is tomorrow.
Monday, April 16, 2012
Ila Jean "Bean" Rathbone
The cancer world is not pleasant. The past couple of weeks in particular have had many children losing their earth battle against cancer, and several others relapsing or progressing...and this is just of the children that I follow! Tonight, I am deeply saddened at the death of a little girl named Ila Jean, who battled stage IV neuroblastoma for almost six years, joining another young neuroblastoma warrior, Tanner Evers, who passed away on friday. Having followed Ila's journey since around June of 2011, shortly after her relapse, little Ila Jean won her way into my heart, despite being thousands of miles away, and following only via the internet. Cancer does not discriminate in so many cases, but particularly in children. And neuroblastoma is often called a silent cancer, more than 60% of children are not diagnosed until they are at stage IV when there is very little hope for a long-term cure...
In the past month or less I have read about the deaths of
-Piper Needham, a spitfire two-year-old who died from a massive lung infection and infant leukemia
-Ty Barberine, who endured a successful bone marrow transplant only to become mysteriously ill from an unknown cause and live for several weeks on breathing support and dialysis before his body finally gave out
-Gage Driver, a little boy who died yesterday from DIPG, one of the worst brain tumours there is
-Tanner Evers, a long term neuroblastoma warrior
-and of course Miss Ila Jean
And so many children have progressed or relapsed or are facing very difficult points and need prayers and in some cases sheer miracles
-Ashley Reimer, who has relapsed with ALL a second time, discovered at her one-year post-bone marrow transplant check-up. She is a brilliant young woman only a little younger than I am, and had just gotten fully back into university and is now facing a daunting battle.
-Ethan Hallmark, a neuroblastoma warrior, who has relapsed with a hybrid neuroblastoma (VERY difficult to treat)
-Brooke Hester, who progressed through the humanized 3F8 antibody treatment and is now undergoing intensive chemotherapy
-Lindsay Simmons, a 12 year old ALL patient, who has relapsed, like Ashley, for a second time and is not doing well at all.
-Kodi Tutt, a seven-year-old neuroblastoma warrior who had a 'level three' reaction to the antibodies she was receiving and cannot have anymore-now facing a difficult decision as to remaining treatment
-Ariel Gariano, a 13-year-old relapsed rhabdomyosarcoma patient, who in addition to facing a lot of medical uncertainty had her family's house catch on fire this past week
-Liza Scherr, a DIPG patient who has progressed
-Joey Keller, a medullablastoma (brain tumour) patient, who has progressed after taking a needed break from chemotherapy
-Wesley Jaeger, a medullablastoma patient who is enduring chemotherapy after struggling for almost four years and is currently beginning to run out of options
And these are just of children that I follow. Sometimes, I wonder why I follow these children...but then I realize that by being aware, I can be a better advocate, and from time to time, I can even offer support through online messages when it feels right.
In the past month or less I have read about the deaths of
-Piper Needham, a spitfire two-year-old who died from a massive lung infection and infant leukemia
-Ty Barberine, who endured a successful bone marrow transplant only to become mysteriously ill from an unknown cause and live for several weeks on breathing support and dialysis before his body finally gave out
-Gage Driver, a little boy who died yesterday from DIPG, one of the worst brain tumours there is
-Tanner Evers, a long term neuroblastoma warrior
-and of course Miss Ila Jean
And so many children have progressed or relapsed or are facing very difficult points and need prayers and in some cases sheer miracles
-Ashley Reimer, who has relapsed with ALL a second time, discovered at her one-year post-bone marrow transplant check-up. She is a brilliant young woman only a little younger than I am, and had just gotten fully back into university and is now facing a daunting battle.
-Ethan Hallmark, a neuroblastoma warrior, who has relapsed with a hybrid neuroblastoma (VERY difficult to treat)
-Brooke Hester, who progressed through the humanized 3F8 antibody treatment and is now undergoing intensive chemotherapy
-Lindsay Simmons, a 12 year old ALL patient, who has relapsed, like Ashley, for a second time and is not doing well at all.
-Kodi Tutt, a seven-year-old neuroblastoma warrior who had a 'level three' reaction to the antibodies she was receiving and cannot have anymore-now facing a difficult decision as to remaining treatment
-Ariel Gariano, a 13-year-old relapsed rhabdomyosarcoma patient, who in addition to facing a lot of medical uncertainty had her family's house catch on fire this past week
-Liza Scherr, a DIPG patient who has progressed
-Joey Keller, a medullablastoma (brain tumour) patient, who has progressed after taking a needed break from chemotherapy
-Wesley Jaeger, a medullablastoma patient who is enduring chemotherapy after struggling for almost four years and is currently beginning to run out of options
And these are just of children that I follow. Sometimes, I wonder why I follow these children...but then I realize that by being aware, I can be a better advocate, and from time to time, I can even offer support through online messages when it feels right.
Sunday, April 15, 2012
Relief (sort of)
My professor understood. Even though my computer has now had to be shut down several more times because of freezing up, my paper is gradually getting finished. It is NOT aided by my 'normal' symptoms of problems breathing (non-satisfying breaths), being tired, lack of appetite/nausea (it took me until almost 9pm to manage to eat dinner), mild stomach pain/discomfort and mild chest pain/discomfort. So I'm not beating myself up over this. It will get done, and it will be in by tomorrow morning. If I do end up losing 3% I am not going to kick myself over it. This has not been an easy semester, and the fall will provide a fresh start, with four less teeth and hopefully some better health and a better way of dealing with things.
Oh that's right...I never mentioned the dentist appointment on wednesday. I'm one of those strange people that actually finds getting my teeth cleaned to be quite relaxing...most likely because I cannot do anything besides put my feet up and listen to music for at least 30 minutes! Not exactly something I do very often without feeling guilty. Plus, I love the dentist-clean feeling. It's awesome. So, imagine my disappointment when I find out that they won't clean my teeth until they get the okay from my internal medicine specialist! Urgh! The only thing that they would do was the x-rays. Well. I have four-count em'-four wisdom teeth that are all in the process of impacting in one way or another. My bottom ones are impacting in a way known as incomplete eruption, which makes them highly susceptible to infection (which is why I mentioned my concern over them, and which is what got my dentist concerned, because I had to explain my heart valve). This is less complicated than the top teeth however, which are beginning to grow in under my back molars. I saw the x-rays, and it was actually pretty creepy-I could see the roots starting to be pushed aside. Those wisdom teeth need to go...and soon. But...I NEED to know what is going on with my heart/lungs before getting them removed! Talk about a tricky picture...I can't go under anaesthesia not knowing what's up, but I can't leave the teeth, especially the top teeth, there for too much longer before they are likely to start causing bigger problems. Perhaps my dentist will have more success reaching my internal medicine specialist than I have had! Needless to say, once my exams are over on wednesday and after thursday I start trying to get in to see my family doctor again.
Oh that's right...I never mentioned the dentist appointment on wednesday. I'm one of those strange people that actually finds getting my teeth cleaned to be quite relaxing...most likely because I cannot do anything besides put my feet up and listen to music for at least 30 minutes! Not exactly something I do very often without feeling guilty. Plus, I love the dentist-clean feeling. It's awesome. So, imagine my disappointment when I find out that they won't clean my teeth until they get the okay from my internal medicine specialist! Urgh! The only thing that they would do was the x-rays. Well. I have four-count em'-four wisdom teeth that are all in the process of impacting in one way or another. My bottom ones are impacting in a way known as incomplete eruption, which makes them highly susceptible to infection (which is why I mentioned my concern over them, and which is what got my dentist concerned, because I had to explain my heart valve). This is less complicated than the top teeth however, which are beginning to grow in under my back molars. I saw the x-rays, and it was actually pretty creepy-I could see the roots starting to be pushed aside. Those wisdom teeth need to go...and soon. But...I NEED to know what is going on with my heart/lungs before getting them removed! Talk about a tricky picture...I can't go under anaesthesia not knowing what's up, but I can't leave the teeth, especially the top teeth, there for too much longer before they are likely to start causing bigger problems. Perhaps my dentist will have more success reaching my internal medicine specialist than I have had! Needless to say, once my exams are over on wednesday and after thursday I start trying to get in to see my family doctor again.
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