Blankets!

Realized that I hadn't updated with some of the blankets that I have recently made...or perhaps not so recently, I think it may be several months.

Crocheted in Bernat Baby Coordinates 'Aqua-Lemon', I made most of this on my trip to PEI and Nova Scotia with my dad this past June. So I was right on the several months bit!

Crocheted in Bernat Super Value, "Lotus", I did this one during the craziness of upstairs renovations. Helped keep me sane...

Knit in Bernat Baby Blanket, "Little Sandcastles", it surprisingly looks like it could fade into my carpet! Corner to Corner blanket made with super bulky yarn, it knits up very quickly.

Another corner to corner blanket in Bernat Baby Blanket, Pitter-Patter and Baby Yellow.

This one is a Mary Maxim pattern, called Round and Round baby blanket. It looks more intricate up close, but was surprisingly quick and easy. The yarn used is Mary Maxim Sugar Baby Stripes, "Sour Apples".

 This one is another round blanket crocheted in Bernat Softee Baby "Peony Prints"

 This one is crocheted in Bernat Pipsqueak, Tattle Teal and Silly Sea

 I just recently completed this one, it is knit in Bernat Softee Baby from one of their newest pattern books, "New Classics" and combines three different stitch patterns. I knit it in Baby Blue, Little Boy Blue, and Little Mouse.

This was also crocheted this summer, a Round and Round blanket in Mary Maxim Sugar Baby Stripes, "Blueberry Burst".

Right now I am in the process of making (primarily) two blankets for friends-One is due any day now (37 weeks with a little girl with Turner Syndrome), and the other is for one of my best friends, although that one is a totally different story. I have many other smaller projects and other blankets on the go, when it comes to knitting and crocheting I am completely ADHD!

Hormonal Washout/Mental Health Awareness Day

As anyone who has read this blog a bit knows, I have had my mental health struggles for some time. Probably nearing half my life, if not longer? Definitely by the time I was thirteen or fourteen years old.

Apparently it's Mental Health Awareness day, sponsored (of course everything has to be sponsored) by Bell. More than one friend of mine has shared something on Facebook. No one has been criticized, if anything, I see a great sense of support/pride.

Somehow I can't.

But, of course, for someone who couldn't tell their closest friend (from outside of the jr high/high school group that knew me during the most impulsive times) for more than three years after becoming friends about their darkest bit of past...

Putting myself out there...

I am tempted.

But scared.

Right now, I am also on the "week off" the hormones. While upping my imipramine dosage has helped the past three weeks be a bit less of a roller-coaster ride, coming off the hormones the past two days has been like a crash-and-burn event. Right now I am feeling SO sensitive emotionally. Or perhaps I am just extra tired. Probably both.

For this year, I think I am remaining silent. Which is sad, because it is just reinforcing the silence that is SO there. That on the outside we look great. On the inside, not always so much. 

Spinning, spinning, spinning

Right now, I literally feel as if I am spinning! Not dizzy, but in the sense that I am so tired from today, from this year, from everything that I am spinning around. The end of my long Wednesday. Wednesdays have been long for a few years now, this Wednesday took on a bit of a new character. Started with waiting for my 9:00am student to come this morning, which they never did. *Sigh*. The music teacher's top annoyance-students/parents who don't phone/email if they can't attend a lesson. Anyways, that was that start. Then the snowstorm started. Seems like Wednesdays have often had crazy snow this winter. Anyways...it was of course at it's worst right when I had I walk to catch my bus to downtown to catch the other one to go to my flute lesson. Typical. Flute lesson done, focused pretty well and got some good comments. Then the emails started coming in...setting up a meeting with my advisor for tomorrow about my paper. Back and forth on that to find a time that worked for both of us. Get that settled and then my voice teacher asks if I can change my lesson from 7:45 to 6:00. Okay, I can do that, although I have my piano lesson across the hall from 5:00-6:00, and it typically runs over time. It did, and not only that but she made WORK today (along with touching my arms more than I would like, but that is another story-touch sensitive girl doesn't like it but doesn't want to be rude...). Run across the hall to voice, haven't eaten since a brief snack at 2:15, and lunch before that was eleven, none of these food items were big (thank-you mucky digestive system...). I might not be 'hungry' as in stomach growling, but I am getting the biggest yawns you can imagine, don't have as much vocal power etc. Get through the lesson, finally get a chance to go eat something substantial (after taking my stomach med domperidone), and then the emails start coming in again. This time from the library saying that I had a bunch of materials that have just been declared lost. And that I therefore am owing hundreds of dollars. WHAT??????!!!!!! I have never run that fast across campus. Get that sorted out (computer glitch...) but by this point I am utterly spinning. My emotions today have also been on the down side, more than I would like to see at all, and that hasn't helped. Tomorrow promises to be a bit of a crazy day too, I have an appointment with th infertilty counsellor to make sure I am 'healthy' enough for the procedure, and then I go directly from that to talk with my advisor. I do have an hour of almost complete bussing in between, but putting two emotional events like that...well...I guess I am slightly crazy.

Now on the bus to downtown and worrying that I might miss my bus to my house as the bus to downtown is running slightly late. *Sigh*. Hopefully not, I just want to get home and chill out in bed...might need to wind down a bit before I fall asleep but I need to chill.