Tonight promises to be my last good nights' sleep for a few days...tomorrow I have a Wind Ensemble rehearsal until 9pm, then I have to get back home, and the university is about a forty-five minute drive away at that time of night (rush hour is a lot worse!). And then, I have to be back out at the university for 5:45am. So, that means I have to get up at about 4:30am. With any luck, my hotel room once we get to our destination (after about 14-16 hours on the bus on wednesday) won't be too loud-I trust my roommates but not necessarily the rest of my WE colleagues! What I am NOT looking foward to is the over-nighter saturday to sunday to get back home. I have never been able to sleep in cars, buses, or planes, at least not since I was about four years old. Of course, I haven't tried it with Seroquel, but I figure that my fellow WE members aren't going to be particularly quiet. I know some of them are planning on quite a bit of the 'liquid entertainment'. Urgh. Hanging out with drunk people is not my idea of a good time...
Well, I have a busy day tomorrow, and I still have things to do tonight...like get started on the packing. Tomorrow I have a flute lesson, a piano lesson, and the Wind Ensemble rehearsal, plus I need to pick up some things at the grocery store, pick up my newly-hemmed pants from the tailor (something I should have taken in back in the fall...at least I'll have comfy pants for that over-nighter), and with any luck buy a camera. I haven't had one for about three years now, ever since my old one, the one that I got back in grade six, broke. Let's just hope it's easy to use.
Monday, April 25, 2011
Sunday, April 17, 2011
I survived!!!!
I survived the crazy week of jury, exam and essay due in the same three-day space. Actually, the jury went quite well-the best out of the three I've done. When I came into the university that morning, I was pretty nervous, but as I talked with some of my flautist friends, and then warmed up on my own and then with my accompanist, I gradually calmed down, and ended up playing quite well-the best performance I've given out of the four I've done of the Schubert Arpeggione Sonata. Katherine Hoover's Winter Spirits wasn't quite as good, but I'd only been working on it for a month or so. What got me was that I missed the end flourish-all that came out was fu-fufluff. Not what I was hoping for! The Hindemith flute sonata was a good ending to the program, although at one point near the end I hit a hesitation because I thought I saw one of the jury members waving their hand to stop me-I guess they were turning a page or something, but it distracted me for a second. The Bach E major sonata also went pretty well, although we ended up cutting out the fourth movement. Now I just wait for the comments to be available at the office, perhaps by tuesday, and see whether I have become a performance major or will be becoming a history major.
My vietnam war course exam went about the same as the midterm did, so I expect I'll get a similar mark (A) on it, but not sure exactly how the essay went...I ended up submitting it at 11:57 on friday evening, and just realized that I forgot the bibliography page...fortunately, it was done Chicago style, so the books are listed in the footnotes, AND everyone else was using the exact same books. Still, I think it only right that I submit a bibliography page by email and apologize for forgetting it. The Magic Flute Opera that I went to on friday evening went longer than I thought, and I was in a rush to submit it when I got back at 11:40. Part of the issue is that the internet on my laptop is not working, so I had to turn on two computers, transfer it to my USB drive, and then email it from my dad's computer. One of my tasks now that everything's finished is to take my laptop in for cleaning and hopefully getting some things straightened out!
It's a good feeling to be finished, but strange at the same time. I am desperately not wanting to enter into the depression/exhaustion collapse that happened to me last year after exams and things ended. I ended up not picking up my flute for close to three months after the Syrinx Flute Festival in May, and in late April, May and until work started in June, I was staying up atrociously late, then waking up late (not like me), not doing much except watching tv and doing things on my computer...it just wasn't great at all. I don't want to enter into that state this year...I have things to do, and I want to keep practicing-both instruments-and going to the gym, things like that. Fortunately, there are things to keep me busy too! My orchestra concert is tomorrow evening-3rd and 4th movements of Tchaikovsky 4th symphony, and a piece by Estacio called Frenergy-and the Wind Ensemble is still rehearsing for the Wind Ensemble trip that starts next wensday. And then, when I get back from that trip, I have less than 24 hours at home before my dad and I leave on our own trip. Fortunately, I have lots of socks and things like that so I won't have to worry about doing too much laundry.
The past couple of weeks, I couldn't knit or crochet because I needed my hands to be in complete top form for the stress of the jury, practicing, and then the exam studying and writing. PLUS one of the baby blankets that I'm crocheting is addictive, and I would end up spending waaaaay too much time during my 'breaks' on it, so I had to put it aside for the most part. Now that everything's over though...knitting and crocheting are back in full swing :) I'll have to post pictures of the blankets for Project Linus before I send them off!
I made some red tea a little while ago, and it's probably cool now. So I think I'll sign off here. Here's hoping for better weather this week-we had a teaser day of 15 degrees C on tuesday last week (when I had to be inside all day studying because it was too windy to study outside) but then it turned cold-it was -8 the next morning, and since then, we got about 5 inches of wet snow on friday, and then more on saturday. It's mostly gone again now, but I want my April weather back again! And not too much more precipitation because of the flood situation.
My vietnam war course exam went about the same as the midterm did, so I expect I'll get a similar mark (A) on it, but not sure exactly how the essay went...I ended up submitting it at 11:57 on friday evening, and just realized that I forgot the bibliography page...fortunately, it was done Chicago style, so the books are listed in the footnotes, AND everyone else was using the exact same books. Still, I think it only right that I submit a bibliography page by email and apologize for forgetting it. The Magic Flute Opera that I went to on friday evening went longer than I thought, and I was in a rush to submit it when I got back at 11:40. Part of the issue is that the internet on my laptop is not working, so I had to turn on two computers, transfer it to my USB drive, and then email it from my dad's computer. One of my tasks now that everything's finished is to take my laptop in for cleaning and hopefully getting some things straightened out!
It's a good feeling to be finished, but strange at the same time. I am desperately not wanting to enter into the depression/exhaustion collapse that happened to me last year after exams and things ended. I ended up not picking up my flute for close to three months after the Syrinx Flute Festival in May, and in late April, May and until work started in June, I was staying up atrociously late, then waking up late (not like me), not doing much except watching tv and doing things on my computer...it just wasn't great at all. I don't want to enter into that state this year...I have things to do, and I want to keep practicing-both instruments-and going to the gym, things like that. Fortunately, there are things to keep me busy too! My orchestra concert is tomorrow evening-3rd and 4th movements of Tchaikovsky 4th symphony, and a piece by Estacio called Frenergy-and the Wind Ensemble is still rehearsing for the Wind Ensemble trip that starts next wensday. And then, when I get back from that trip, I have less than 24 hours at home before my dad and I leave on our own trip. Fortunately, I have lots of socks and things like that so I won't have to worry about doing too much laundry.
The past couple of weeks, I couldn't knit or crochet because I needed my hands to be in complete top form for the stress of the jury, practicing, and then the exam studying and writing. PLUS one of the baby blankets that I'm crocheting is addictive, and I would end up spending waaaaay too much time during my 'breaks' on it, so I had to put it aside for the most part. Now that everything's over though...knitting and crocheting are back in full swing :) I'll have to post pictures of the blankets for Project Linus before I send them off!
I made some red tea a little while ago, and it's probably cool now. So I think I'll sign off here. Here's hoping for better weather this week-we had a teaser day of 15 degrees C on tuesday last week (when I had to be inside all day studying because it was too windy to study outside) but then it turned cold-it was -8 the next morning, and since then, we got about 5 inches of wet snow on friday, and then more on saturday. It's mostly gone again now, but I want my April weather back again! And not too much more precipitation because of the flood situation.
Friday, April 1, 2011
Surprising Loneliness
My dad left this afternoon to go to the World Championship of curling, something like that (I'm not positive of the actual title, but it's being held in his home city). What is surprising to me is that I am feeling lonely. I did not expect this at all. Perhaps I started feeling it when I read that my good friend, who's been in the hospital for the past month or two for the sixth time with anorexia is leaving the province on tuesday to go to another treatment centre out-of-province (apparantly with good results and a much nicer program and staff than our hospital program). The sadness comes in that I haven't gotten over there to see her and now might not have the chance to for months. I really hope that this program has a different approach that works more successfully for her...or I don't know how much more her body, mind and life can take. She's such a wonderful person, but part of her mind has wrecked havoc on her life in the form of bipolar disorder and anorexia. I can certainly understand all the feelings except mania. I may have mood swings, but my higher feelings never really exceed normality. In fact, the craziest I get is when I have Starbucks full-leaf green tea that I've left steeping for half an hour. THAT wired-high tends to hit VERY suddenly, about two or three hours later and then takes about three hours to wear off-and it isn't a very pleasant caffeine high. It's one reason why I've never tried an energy drink. If certain kinds of green tea can make me crazy, I definitely don't want to try something that might have three or four times the caffeine of a strong cup of coffee! Plus, all that sugar...My guess is that an energy drink, depending on which one, could easily land me in an emergency room. Being tiny and not very experienced in the caffeine world (I've never even had coffee-and have no interest in it) probably would not be a good mix.
It's still a crazy-looking time, but one more performance is down, the Vocal and Instrumental Collaboration recital at lunch today. I felt that the piece I was in went pretty well, although the last note was a high E that I was expected to hold for a long time AND be pianissimo on. NOT easy for a flute player and in dying out (also not the easiest technique) I fluffed it a little. Other than that, it went pretty well from my perspective...and yet, I saw the composer crying afterwards. Now, I don't know why exactly, and I'm hoping it wasn't complete disappointment in us musicians! I suppose I should clarify about the Vocal/Instrumental recitals this semester. Some of the composition majors were given the opportunity to compose new works to poems for the recitals, and have us in the course be their guinea pigs. Generally speaking, things went pretty well. My favourite though was the set of four short pieces designed around the rules of counterpoint! Woo Hoo!!!! Predictable music! And the short poems were nice too, love poems by Rumi. I don't know anything more about him than his name and that he wrote those poems. The most original piece was composed by a second year student, who I came to know pretty well when we were at a University Prep program at music camp three summers ago. He is someone who cannot be explained...he must be experienced. Well, his piece cannot be truly explained either...it must be experienced, but it was quite an experience to listen to (not all of us were in all of the pieces). It is nice to have one thing out of the way. I have another recital tomorrow, the chamber ensemble recital, so it will be once again a different experience. As long as my guitar partner doesn't start rushing, we should be good. The scheduling for the recital was quite the mumble jumble. Officially, none of us were informed of the schedule by the coordinator. I only found out by demanding it of the office, and then was not informed that it had changed-I saw by chance that the times were different by looking at a program from another recital on thursday. Very frustrating, especially as I have to bus both ways, not having a vehicle. And buses on saturday are not as frequent. But, I guess, I can do reading on the bus for my essay. And note taking, except for the potholes that are increasingly cropping up. I still have a fair amount to read, but really want to be finished by sunday morning, so that I can get started writing on sunday. It's a good thing that I have no classes on tuesday, as having the entire day alone at home to work will be a good thing. Well, and practice, and hopefully get some time in on the tredmill studying. The past week hasn't involved a lot of non-activity-my idea of relaxation seems to be hitting the gym and figuring out how to study for my Vietnam War exam while on the machines. Of course, it doesn't work while using the rowing machine, but it worked for the bike, tredmill and even the eliptical.
Enough procrastinating. I need to listen to some things for my Sunrise class, and then read. Right now I'm reading Robert McNamara's memoir "In Retrospect" and it is very interesting. I also started browsing a bit through "A Rumour of War" by Philip Caputo, and fortunately, it doesn't look like I will get as many notes from it. This is a good thing, because I already have tons of stuff to weed through for the essay, but need to have notes from all five books to back up the statement for the essay-The Vietnam War was a mistake. I believe that, especially now reading all the material, and am planning to argue it through showing that yes, it was a mistake as a whole, but it consisted of a number of mistakes-including Cambodia, the sheer damage done to Vietnam, the great number of casualties and the way human life was treated during and after (veterans) the war, the fact that it was entered in ways that basically made it unwinnable and that information was ignored again and again that proved that they could not win the war, etc etc. I think I'll also make some sort of point about how the thing that they were trying to prevent happened, and in the end, it was not a great risk to American security. I've had a lot of interest in the Vietnam War since finding out that MASH, my favourite television show, although portraying the Korean War was actually showing the Vietnam War (but couldn't say so because the Vietnam War was still going on when the show started and it would be way too sensitive a topic to show on tv).
I've been getting very excited for my Music for Young Children teaching in the fall. I'm really looking forward to teaching all the level one classes-Sunrise, Sunshine One, Sunbeams One and Moonbeams One. So far, I have a three for Moonbeams One (7 and 8 year olds)-it would be nice to have six (the maximum), possibly 8 for Sunshine One (3 and 4 year olds) so I might even have two classes of Sunshine One, not really anyone for Sunbeams One, but two former Sunrise students who were a little too old at four and dropped out might come back, and then I think four possible ones for Sunrise so far (can have up to 8). Every time I talk to, or respond to an email from a prospective parent, I can hardly contain my excitement about the program. Though, one time I had just entered into that Starbucks green tea high, so that probably had something to do with it. I love MYC so much though, and think it's so brilliant.
Enough procrastinating. I think I've said that twice now. Actually, writing this blog post has helped with the loneliness a bit. Or maybe my favourite pomegranite cranberry green tea has started to work and has perked me up a bit. As long as I don't have another slug morning like I did on thursday between now and April 13th, I should be fine. Slug times are horrible. I'll start practicing a piece, and not be able to, or I can't even open a book. It's a physical and mental tiredness that comes from no where and is incredibly frustrating. And with that tiredness also comes the despair, hopelessness, etc etc, that makes not being able to do anything even worse (start prophesizing all those things that could happen from not practicing, studying, doing homework...). Nothing is worse than trying to play Bach, and playing five measures, and putting my flute down and slumping onto the piano in the practicing room. Okay, yes, things are worse and I've been through them, but that is the most frustrating feeling because it comes out of nowhere, and is very hard to break out of. When I'm done my exams in a couple of weeks (April 13th) I will start a trial of the tricyclic drug recommended. I figured it would not be smart to try a mind-effecting drug during the most crazy time of the year, especially given the problems I've had with previous drugs.
Right now the flood forecast isn't looking TOO too bad, but there's rain and snow coming to the area south of us, and maybe to us, so we'll still have to wait and see. Fingers Crossed!
It's still a crazy-looking time, but one more performance is down, the Vocal and Instrumental Collaboration recital at lunch today. I felt that the piece I was in went pretty well, although the last note was a high E that I was expected to hold for a long time AND be pianissimo on. NOT easy for a flute player and in dying out (also not the easiest technique) I fluffed it a little. Other than that, it went pretty well from my perspective...and yet, I saw the composer crying afterwards. Now, I don't know why exactly, and I'm hoping it wasn't complete disappointment in us musicians! I suppose I should clarify about the Vocal/Instrumental recitals this semester. Some of the composition majors were given the opportunity to compose new works to poems for the recitals, and have us in the course be their guinea pigs. Generally speaking, things went pretty well. My favourite though was the set of four short pieces designed around the rules of counterpoint! Woo Hoo!!!! Predictable music! And the short poems were nice too, love poems by Rumi. I don't know anything more about him than his name and that he wrote those poems. The most original piece was composed by a second year student, who I came to know pretty well when we were at a University Prep program at music camp three summers ago. He is someone who cannot be explained...he must be experienced. Well, his piece cannot be truly explained either...it must be experienced, but it was quite an experience to listen to (not all of us were in all of the pieces). It is nice to have one thing out of the way. I have another recital tomorrow, the chamber ensemble recital, so it will be once again a different experience. As long as my guitar partner doesn't start rushing, we should be good. The scheduling for the recital was quite the mumble jumble. Officially, none of us were informed of the schedule by the coordinator. I only found out by demanding it of the office, and then was not informed that it had changed-I saw by chance that the times were different by looking at a program from another recital on thursday. Very frustrating, especially as I have to bus both ways, not having a vehicle. And buses on saturday are not as frequent. But, I guess, I can do reading on the bus for my essay. And note taking, except for the potholes that are increasingly cropping up. I still have a fair amount to read, but really want to be finished by sunday morning, so that I can get started writing on sunday. It's a good thing that I have no classes on tuesday, as having the entire day alone at home to work will be a good thing. Well, and practice, and hopefully get some time in on the tredmill studying. The past week hasn't involved a lot of non-activity-my idea of relaxation seems to be hitting the gym and figuring out how to study for my Vietnam War exam while on the machines. Of course, it doesn't work while using the rowing machine, but it worked for the bike, tredmill and even the eliptical.
Enough procrastinating. I need to listen to some things for my Sunrise class, and then read. Right now I'm reading Robert McNamara's memoir "In Retrospect" and it is very interesting. I also started browsing a bit through "A Rumour of War" by Philip Caputo, and fortunately, it doesn't look like I will get as many notes from it. This is a good thing, because I already have tons of stuff to weed through for the essay, but need to have notes from all five books to back up the statement for the essay-The Vietnam War was a mistake. I believe that, especially now reading all the material, and am planning to argue it through showing that yes, it was a mistake as a whole, but it consisted of a number of mistakes-including Cambodia, the sheer damage done to Vietnam, the great number of casualties and the way human life was treated during and after (veterans) the war, the fact that it was entered in ways that basically made it unwinnable and that information was ignored again and again that proved that they could not win the war, etc etc. I think I'll also make some sort of point about how the thing that they were trying to prevent happened, and in the end, it was not a great risk to American security. I've had a lot of interest in the Vietnam War since finding out that MASH, my favourite television show, although portraying the Korean War was actually showing the Vietnam War (but couldn't say so because the Vietnam War was still going on when the show started and it would be way too sensitive a topic to show on tv).
I've been getting very excited for my Music for Young Children teaching in the fall. I'm really looking forward to teaching all the level one classes-Sunrise, Sunshine One, Sunbeams One and Moonbeams One. So far, I have a three for Moonbeams One (7 and 8 year olds)-it would be nice to have six (the maximum), possibly 8 for Sunshine One (3 and 4 year olds) so I might even have two classes of Sunshine One, not really anyone for Sunbeams One, but two former Sunrise students who were a little too old at four and dropped out might come back, and then I think four possible ones for Sunrise so far (can have up to 8). Every time I talk to, or respond to an email from a prospective parent, I can hardly contain my excitement about the program. Though, one time I had just entered into that Starbucks green tea high, so that probably had something to do with it. I love MYC so much though, and think it's so brilliant.
Enough procrastinating. I think I've said that twice now. Actually, writing this blog post has helped with the loneliness a bit. Or maybe my favourite pomegranite cranberry green tea has started to work and has perked me up a bit. As long as I don't have another slug morning like I did on thursday between now and April 13th, I should be fine. Slug times are horrible. I'll start practicing a piece, and not be able to, or I can't even open a book. It's a physical and mental tiredness that comes from no where and is incredibly frustrating. And with that tiredness also comes the despair, hopelessness, etc etc, that makes not being able to do anything even worse (start prophesizing all those things that could happen from not practicing, studying, doing homework...). Nothing is worse than trying to play Bach, and playing five measures, and putting my flute down and slumping onto the piano in the practicing room. Okay, yes, things are worse and I've been through them, but that is the most frustrating feeling because it comes out of nowhere, and is very hard to break out of. When I'm done my exams in a couple of weeks (April 13th) I will start a trial of the tricyclic drug recommended. I figured it would not be smart to try a mind-effecting drug during the most crazy time of the year, especially given the problems I've had with previous drugs.
Right now the flood forecast isn't looking TOO too bad, but there's rain and snow coming to the area south of us, and maybe to us, so we'll still have to wait and see. Fingers Crossed!
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